Ridiculous User Research Questions

Peeling Back the Curtain on Our Slightly Offbeat, Deeply Curious UX Researcher Minds

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As UX researchers, we have to talk to users regularly to figure out what they want and need. You bite your tongue to avoid asking some questions that pop into your head.

So, in the interest of humour and catharsis, here are some things UX Researchers get the urge to ask users but never can.

Can we follow you home and observe you in your natural habitat? Of course, we’re not creepy- our purpose is to see how you interact with your technology in your environment. We could see what you eat for dinner, how you watch your shows, and whether you prefer Netflix or Hulu. Sadly, ethical considerations and basic human decency prevent us from making such a request.

Can you please tell us your entire life story in under 5 minutes? We promise we won’t get bored. We would love to know more about you.

We know it’s not childish to ask, What’s your favourite colour? Some of us are dying to know what shades our users love. Maybe they’ll redecorate the application based on the responses. Who knows?

Have you ever used Comic Sans in a professional setting? We’re just curious if we can trust your design judgement. No biggie.

What kind of photos do you like to click and post? We’re interested in what matters to your public image. Can you give us your social media accounts for a day to see what content you engage with? Or better yet, can you leave your phone with us for a day and see how you manage without our app?

When are you reminded of our product during the day? Scratch that, we already have that data. When was the last time you browsed for us? No, when was the last time you looked up a competitor on the internet?

Why did you search for ‘How to cancel subscription’? It’s okay, we won’t take it personally. We just need to know why you would ever want to leave us.

Can you just explain to us why you didn’t like that button? Was it too square? Too blue? Too clickable? We need to know!

Did you read before you clicked the button? We know half the time users just click through pop-ups and warnings without actually reading them. And then something unexpected happens. Sorry, we just assumed that people would take the time to read things before they interact with them. How many icons and visual aids should we add so you read?

Can we get you to use a new and completely unfamiliar interface in ten minutes? We just want to see how you adapt to new technology under extreme duress. No pressure.

Can we pay you to use our product all day, every day, for the rest of your life? Have you written anything about our product in your diary?

How about taking a lie detector test? How else are we supposed to know if you’re telling us the truth about your preferences and behaviours?

Have you ever dreamt of our product? We won’t judge, we promise. We want to know how much you love us.

Can we analyse your DNA to see how it affects your behaviour and decision-making? Can we monitor your brainwaves maybe to see how you respond to different stimuli? Can we crawl into your brain somehow and see how you feel about our product?

And lastly, can we clone you and create an army of perfect user personas? No, not in the real world, just in virtual reality. No, you wouldn’t need to make decisions for the clone, it’ll just represent you. Still a hard no? Well, what can we do?

But of course, we don’t ask these questions. We just sit back and quietly observe, and maybe fantasise about a world where we could. Thanks for your time, and enjoy that gift card we’re sending your way. The joys of UX research never cease to amaze us!